Well this is the second part of my girl's birth stories. This is the story of my second daughter, Rowan, born at The Baby Place in 2011. Again my way of saying thank you to all the amazing midwives at the birth center.
Rowan's birth story
With your second child you always hear things like, you probably won't be past due, this labor should be easier, etc. With my first daughter, ada, I was 1 week past due when I went into labor, and my labor was 23 hours. So I was very much hoping that these things would be different about my second. But alas I watched my due date come and go with no baby. I had a lot more pre labor symptoms with my second. For a couple of weeks I had pre labor, and even lost my mucus plug 9 days before my daughter was born. For weeks i was expecting her to make an appearance, but the waiting continued. Some days I was ok with it, other days my emotions would get the better of me and my frustration would boil up. You start to feel like maybe you will just be pregnant forever! But finally it happens just when you start to think it never would.
I went to bed on Saturday night dreading the morning. I was past due and I really didn't want to have to deal with everyone we would see on Sunday. I didn't want to deal with all the snide comments or have to explain over and over again why we are not considering induction. But I got lucky. I had just gotten up to go to the bathroom. I had gotten back into bed but hadn't fallen asleep yet when I started to feel fluid leaking. I got up and rushed back to the bathroom as the leaking increased until my water fully broke when I sat on the toilet. I was so relieved to know that things were finally happening. It was about 1:30 am. I woke up Marcus to tell him what had happened and called Jerusha our midwife. She asked me what color the fluid was and if I was having contractions yet. I told her it was clear and I was having some contractions, but they were only mild. So we did a little packing and few last minute things (marcus actually went to the office) then tried to go back to sleep.
I woke up around 7am and decided to take a shower. I had gone to sleep on a towel because I was still leaking fluid, but when I got up my towel was streaked with green. I didn't want to panic so I took my shower then called Jerusha again. She said to go ahead and come in and she would listen to baby and just make sure everything was ok. So we headed into the birthing center at 8am. Jerusha checked all my vitals and listen to babies heart rate. Everything was fine. She assured us that just because there was some meconium present did not mean that baby was in distress. She said that since i was having contractons that it would probably be this afternoon or evening. So we headed back home.
My parents were staying with us and they had gone to church and taken Ada with them. Marcus and I went for a walk and hung out around the house. It was going to be a very hot day so we had to limit our walks outside. I was having contractions but they were still mild and far apart. I disliked having to deal with my water having ruptured, but at least I knew things were finally happening. My parents and Ada came home and we all just hung around the house. My contractions were getting a little stronger but still about 20 minutes apart and still easy to ignore. Around 5pm we started to get dinner ready and my contractions moved from 20 minutes apart to 10 minutes apart and I had to start concentrating more to get through each one. After dinner my contractions moved to 5 minutes apart. I thought this was perfect timing. If i labored a few more hours at home we could put Ada to bed ourselves then head into the birthing center after awhile. By 7:30pm I wanted peace and quiet and to be alone. I was having to really focus to get through each contractions. Things were progressing. Marcus was able to put Ada to bed (with very little help from me)then we headed for The Baby Place.
Once in the car my contractions moved to about 3 minuets apart. I had considered trying to stay home a little while longer but at this point I was glad we were going in. We got to the center and got to our room. They were busy that night. They have 3 birthing rooms and all of them were full that night. We got settled and Jerusha checked all our vitals again, and also checked my cervix. I was at 5 cm, but she said it felt like my water was still intact. She said she thought I must of had two bags of water and only one had ruptured. She filled the tub for me and I got in within a few minutes. At first the water felt too cold. I started to shiver and shake. This could have been because I was hitting another point of intensity on my labor, but the too cool water didn't help. Marcus added some more hot water and the warmth helped to relax me. We hadn't really been timing contractions, but Marcus would time one every now and then so we could tell how close together they were. Though I didn't need a watch to tell you they were very close together and I was entering transition. Everything around me was blurring and I was just focused inward. I would be just thinking random thoughts, almost dreaming, during contractions, then I would have one that would be very intense and it would sort of bring me back to reality. During those really hard contractions i would focus on what was happening inside me, and at times i could almost feel rowan moving down lower through each contraction. I sat in the tub holding Marcus' hand and riding the wave of my labor as he spoke word of comfort and encouraged me to drink sips of water. A midwife would come in occasionally and check baby's heart rate. Other than that it was just Marcus and I in the peace and quite.
I had been in the tub for about 1 1/2 hours when I began to feel like I needed to push. It started out small. In the middle of a regular contraction I felt the urge to push, then it went away as the contraction subsided. But I could tell I was coming back, so to speak, and I was becoming more aware of my surroundings again. Then another contraction and the same thing happened only this time the urge lasted longer and was strong. By the next contraction it was a full on pushing contraction. Marcus left the room to get one of the midwives. I could hardly believe I was entering second stage labor already. I remembered with Ada how we thought we were really close but I still labored for 4 more hours. I was hoping this wasn't the case, but I knew what the urge to push was like and this was the real thing!
Jen one of the student midwives came back in with marcus to listen to the baby's heart rate. They had just delivered another baby minutes before so the others were still occupied. Jen then told me that Jerusha wanted me to get out of the tub. I had bled a lot with Ada and if the same thing happened this time it could cause a problem if I was in the tub. They wanted me to lay on the bed on my side so that it would lessen (slightly) the urge to push. So between contractions we moved on to the bed. Jerusha came in with in minuets. I pushed for only 15 minutes and Rowan was born at 10:49 pm, and luckily no excessive bleeding this time! I remembered with Ada how there had been a whole team of midwives when she was born. This time it was only Jerusha since all the other were still occupied, but somehow I liked it better. It was quite and intimate. Marcus, myself, and Jerusha experiencing a little miracle. Jerusha gave Rowan to me immediately and laid a warm blanket over us. I began to nurse her as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing and for the placenta to be delivered.
Rowan was awake, alert, and never left my arms for about 1 1/2 hours (except a short time for Marcus to hold her). Marcus sat next to us in the bed and we marveled together at our new little girl and at such a quick and easy labor compared to my first labor. The midwives made us some scrambled eggs and toast which we enjoyed at 1am! Then Jerusha came back to bathe Rowan and do her newborn exam. She was 8 lbs 3 oz. And 21 in. perfectly healthy. Afterwards the three of us all laid down together in the bed and slept till morning.
There is nothing quite like the experience of having a baby. Something that is work, pain, joy, and awe all wrapped into one. I felt that this time I was able to enjoy my little girl more. I knew what to expect a bit more, and of course I wasn't exhausted from a 23 hour labor! When I saw my little one for the first time I was again reminded that I chose to give birth to her in this way and in this place, not for me, but for her. This was her experience too and I wanted both of us to experience it unhindered so that we had the best chance for optimal health and bonding. I couldn't have been more pleased with our experience.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Ada's Story
I have wanted to post my girls birth stories for a while, but just never got around to it. However, in light of all that my midwives at The Baby Place, have been going through, I thought this was a perfect time to tell my story, my girl's story, about our experience with an out of hospital birth. It is my way of saying thank you to Colleen and Jerusha Goodwin. This post will be Ada's story.
Ada’s Birth Story
It is always said that you are likely to be late with your first baby. I had hoped this wasn’t going to be true for me, but alas it was. My due date was December 16th. I had hoped that I would actually be early because our ultrasound had given us a due date of December 8th. My midwife kept telling me to hold our due date loosely and not to worry if I went late. The funny thing was that before I was pregnant, we had been practicing Natural Family Planning and my calculated due date from NFP was December 23 and that was the day my little girl was born! She was 1 week late to the day of my December 16th date. As I drew closer and closer (and then past) my due date I had a feeling that if I didn’t wake up in the morning in labor then it wasn’t going to happen that day. And that is exactly what did happened. Funny how God given intuition and nature were right. Not the high tech ultrasound, but my own body was more reliable!
I woke up at around 3:30 am on the 22nd with contraction. I was instantly excited. Of course I knew that the best thing for me was to try to go back to sleep. I would need to rest and the contractions were definitely real, but they were easily managed. So I went back to sleep and woke up around 5:30am. I remembered from our birth class that the best thing to do once labor started was to rest and to eat. So I got up and ate a little something (a bowl of wheat chex to be exact). I kind of enjoyed being up alone and in labor. It was sort of my little secret that I would get to share once everyone else woke up (my parents where staying with us at this point). I was having trouble getting back to sleep, but I think it was more from excitement than from pain. The contractions were easily managed but by my casual clock watching, they seemed to be about 5 minutes apart. It surprised me that they were so close together already but I still felt fine. I drifted in and out of sleep until about 8 or so when Marcus woke up and I finally shared my little secret with someone.
Marcus helped me begin timing my contractions and they were 3 to 5 minutes apart. This is when they typically say you need to go in, but I really felt fine and I did not feel like I was in danger of having this baby now. It was a snowy, gray day though so we called our midwife to see what the best thing to do would be. She said to go ahead and come in because of the weather. They would check me, and then determine if I should stay or go back home. So we headed into our birthing center at around 9:30 am. I could not keep the smile off my face as we walked in the center. I’m sure I was beaming. They checked me and found that I was only 1 or 2 cm and 70% effaced. Colleen, one of our midwives, said that we could stay there if we wanted but we’d probably be there all day. She thought I’d be more comfortable at home. So she advised us to go home rest and eat! There was a subway on our way home so we stop and got some lunch (early lunch that is…) then went and got a car wash. I remember thinking this was a funny situation. How often do you see a woman in labor eating subway and sitting in a car wash! I had to laugh.
We headed home, and my parents had gone to stay with my brother and his family for the day to give us some privacy. I felt weird about laboring at home with them there, so they kindly agreed to give us some space. We got home and we laid on the coach, watched a movie (Little Lord Fauntleroy) and snacked. I again casually watched the clock and my contractions stayed about 3 to 5 minutes apart. After the movie I felt like I needed a little more help getting through the contractions. The birthing center had lent us a birthing ball to use while we were at home, so I kneeled on the floor with my elbows on the ball and tried to relax. Marcus began timing my contractions more consistently and helping me with counter-pressure, and whatever else I needed. After a while, I started to feel uncomfortable, almost afraid. I felt cold, almost like I had a fever, and I would shake/shiver every now and then. I really felt like it was time to go back to the birthing center. I wanted somewhere safe and cozy. So we called our midwives and our doula and head back to the birthing center at around 5 pm. I remember going to the car when I had a contraction and I felt so weak and shaky. I had to stop and hold on to the car for support. It felt scary and I started to cry a little. Marcus reassured me that everything was ok, and we’d be to the center in no time. I felt tense and uncomfortable in the car. Every bump felt like a huge jolt to me. I couldn’t wait to get there.
When we got to the center I’m sure I was no longer beaming. I remember my midwife saying “Things are a little different than this morning aren’t they?” I smiled weakly and said yes. They checked me again and found that I was at 4cm. My midwife told me that for first time moms 4 cm is usually when they feel labor begin to change. She reassured me that I had made good progress, but I felt a little disappointed. I had labored at home almost all day and I only gained 2 cm? But despite my disappointment, all my fear and discomfort had seemed to go away. Our room was all set up and I just wanted to get as comfy as I could on that big bed. I knew that lying down was not an ideal labor position, and I was starting to have some back pain, so I opted for just sitting cross-legged on the bed. It seemed to be the most comfortable.
So there I sat for who knows how long! Marcus timed contraction while my doula rubber my shoulders and back and did just whatever I needed. Jerusha, our midwife, came in and checked the baby’s heart rate every so often. It seemed that the baby was dropping rather quickly because the heart rate seemed to be further and further down my stomach every time she checked it. She told me I could get in the tub if I wanted to now. I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 11 pm! I still felt that the contractions were manageable and I sort of wanted to wait for the tub until things got more intense. But the lure of the warm water was too tempting. I got up and got in the tub, and we put some music on. As soon as I was in the water my back pain and any other tension just melted away. They brought me some cool rags for my head and face. So I sat in the warm water with cools rags on my face and neck, Marcus timing contraction and my doula rubbing my shoulders. It was extremely comfortable! I started feeling hungry so I ate a granola bar while I was in the tub. I rather felt like I was at a spa being pampered rather than in labor! My contractions where getting closer together, almost a minute apart, and harder. I even had a few that would double peak. I would feel them start, they would reach their climax, start to go back down and then climax again before finally stopping. We knew that close contractions and double peaking was a sign of transitions, so we really thought things were moving along! I should have know that the fact that I could still have a conversation was a sign that I was not in transition yet. Since I thought things were moving along nicely I wanted my midwife to check me again. So Jerusha came in to listen to baby’s heart rate and check me. She actually laughed when she went to check the baby because the heart beat was so far down that she could barely reach it while I was in the tub. She then checked me and I was 100% effaced with baby at a +1 station, but I was still at a 4! No progress. That was all I could think about! Jerusha told me that the baby dropping was actually better progress than dilating, and since the baby was so low she thought things would start moving along really fast now. I remembered all the things from our birthing class about the fact that things are still happening even if you are not dilating, etc. etc. I had our midwife telling me I was doing just fine and that things would probably move quickly. But I felt a little demoralized. As soon this feeling came on, my back pain came back and I no longer felt comfortable in the water. I wanted to get out of the tub. I needed to change something.
I got out of the tub, but felt weak and tired. I wanted to just kneel on the bath rug for a little bit to get enough strength to get back to the bed. So I sat on my hands and knees trying to wait for a good time to get back to the bed. As I sat there I began to feel sick. I leaned over the tub and threw up my granola bar. My lower back was really starting to ache. My doula began giving me counter pressure, which was the only thing that seemed to help. I kept asking her to press harder. It wasn’t until the next day when I realized how hard she must have been pressing because I had bruises from it! But at the time that was the only thing that felt good! Jerusha came and offered me the birthing ball to rest my arms on. I thought this was a little unnecessary since I was only going to be there a short time. But I couldn’t get myself to say any of the things that were in my mind. I didn’t want to talk I just wanted them to read my mind. I thought I had only been in that position about 10 minutes. After the birth I said something about this to Marcus and he looked at me kind of funny, then said “No Carrie that was almost an hour that you were there.” I was totally shocked! Time flies when you’re having… fun? Maybe time flies when you’re having a baby!
I finally made it back up to the bed and resumed my sitting position. Again it seemed to be the best thing for my back labor. My midwife kept telling me she could check me again if I wanted her to. But the last thing I wanted was for her to check me and tell me that I hadn’t dilated any more. So I decided no more checks until I felt like something changed. At this point I am sure that I was finally in transition. Marcus was still counting contractions but I was not paying any attention because the contractions weren’t really going away or pausing for that matter. They would begin, peak, begin to subside but then they would just increase and peak again without ever really stopping. I had a vague thought to tell him that he could stop counting, but again I couldn’t get myself to say anything. The heart rate checks continued and they made sure I was still drinking water. I remember being so tired I just wanted to sleep. At times it seemed like I was sleeping and that I was sort of dreaming about my contractions. They seemed to be the only thing I was aware of, this up and down wave of pressure/pain/tension. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again. But there was no way I was getting up or even going to have the ability to say what I needed. So I just peed where I was. I was sitting on a big sheet cover/fluid catcher thingy so I didn’t think it would be too big of a deal. Something that I would have thought would have been so humiliating before, I didn’t even think twice about now. At another point I did almost fall asleep and I started to fall over since I was sitting up. Luckily, my doula was right there and she caught me before I fell over. Now I knew I needed to just lay down. I was too tired to stay upright. I laid on my side knowing that was a better position than on my back.
As soon as I laid down I think I must have relaxed further because things really kicked up! It was intense and I was no longer able to relax through the contractions. I had to grip the pillow and I started to cry. I knew things were getting closer to the end, but still it was hard. I was tired, I was hurting, and I just wanted to be done. Thankfully this only lasted about 5 contractions (or so I think ☺ ) and then all of a sudden I wanted to push. Maybe want isn’t the right word. I had to push! That was the hardest moment of my labor because I was still having really hard labor contractions, with the urge to push, and my water broke right on the first urge to push. Weren’t my contractions supposed to subside and space back out once I wanted to push? Again, thankfully, the hard contractions and the urge to push at the same time only lasted about 3 to 5 contractions (I think ☺. I started sort of rolling or thrashing around. I had to move, I had to get comfortable, but I didn’t know what to do. Nothing seemed to be comfortable at this point. Jerusha came in to check me and she had a strange little smile on her face. She said “I thought you might do that, where you go right into wanting to push.” And sure enough I was at 10 cm. I remember Jerusha’s words, “I think we are ready to have a baby.” That seemed to be the cue for things to finally ease up and the contractions to start spacing out. I was suddenly aware that Marcus was sort of holding me down. I’m sure it was because of my recent “thrashing”. I asked him to let me go so I could roll back to my side. The fact that I could form a coherent sentence was proof to me that the worst was over, and the best was almost here! I was so relieved that hard labor was over I just sort of laid there breathing heavily. Like I was trying to catch my breath after running a long distance. Jerusha and the other midwives got everything ready and Jerusha asked me to come sit on the birthing stool. I wanted to, but I was so relieved that my contractions were finally spaced out and I was somewhat comfortable compared to the last hour that I just laid there. She finally came over and pulled me up so I could go sit on the stool.
The stool really was quite comfortable, it felt natural to me. (I will not attempt to explain what a birthing stool looks like because it is nearly impossible to do!). I would push at each contraction and then just sit there with my eyes closed after it stopped, enjoying my sense of no pain and new found energy. I remembered stories other woman had told me about not knowing how to push. I did not have that problem! Every contraction was very strong and I couldn’t stop myself from pushing. In fact I began pushing too quickly and Jerusha had me try to relax through the contraction then push after it so that baby wasn’t coming too fast. This was very hard to do! I remember in our birthing class they had told me to tuck your chin in and sort of bear down. Well that was what I was doing, but I guess it was too much! They finally had to tell me “Carrie, lift your chin up and just breathe.” I remember during each pushing contraction the feeling of the baby’s head and I kept saying “owe”. It did not hurt as much as my labor contractions did, but it still wasn’t pleasant so I guess owe seemed the right response. Periodically Jerusha would tell me to feel how much of the baby’s head was showing. I was amazed at the progress. Then they began to talk about her curls that were already visible and I began to get more and more excited. I was finally going to meet her! It took one final contraction to deliver her head and her body followed before that contraction was over. They set Ada in my lap and I just stared at her. I could hardly believe it was all over and here she was! My entire labor was about 23 hours, but I only had to push for about 45 minutes. Ada had a very short cord, so they went ahead and cut it so that she could move somewhere other than my lap. I sat on the stool and held her until the placenta was delivered. I remember very little about that. I remember Jerusha asking me if I was having a contraction. I said I didn’t know because I couldn’t feel anything that felt like a contraction to me. Then Jerusha was splattered with blood, which I assume meant the placenta was delivered!
Marcus and Colleen then took Ada to wash her hair and clean her up a little while Jerusha attended me. I was bleeding a lot. Though I was very unaware of this. I got back onto the bed and was just so happy to be done with everything and to know my girl was here and was healthy. While I laid on the bed relaxing, Jerusha was trying to get the bleeding stopped. They gave Ada back to me to hold so that my uterus would contract better. They finally had to give me a shot of pitocin to get the bleeding under control. The strange thing was I really did not know the severity of what was going on. All the midwives were calm and just acted like this was ordinary business. I appreciated that! I had to have a few stitches and this actually scared me! I had to keep telling myself “You just had a baby, you can handle a few stitches!” Once they were done with me, they brought Ada back over and we started learning how to nurse. They had weighed and measured her, and she was 8lbs 12oz. and 21 inches long. Big girl! By this time it was around 3:30am on the 23rd, Ada having been born at 2:29am. Jerusha thought that Ada was doing well enough at nursing that I could probably lay down and nurse her. So I laid on my side with baby snuggled in close. Marcus joined us in the bed and the midwives basically said “goodnight” and we were allowed to sleep and recoup till morning.
Ada’s birth came later than I wanted it to, and my labor was longer than I wanted it to be, but it was all worth it. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. It is amazing how each of my kid’s births will be unique. That will be their own little story of how they got here. It truly is amazing to see how birth is perfectly designed. How your body knows what to do even when your mind doesn’t! How you can’t always control labor, yet labor seems to do ok without you controlling it. Having a natural birth did not scare me, but it actually made me want to do it again! What will next time be like? I can hardly wait!
Ada’s Birth Story
It is always said that you are likely to be late with your first baby. I had hoped this wasn’t going to be true for me, but alas it was. My due date was December 16th. I had hoped that I would actually be early because our ultrasound had given us a due date of December 8th. My midwife kept telling me to hold our due date loosely and not to worry if I went late. The funny thing was that before I was pregnant, we had been practicing Natural Family Planning and my calculated due date from NFP was December 23 and that was the day my little girl was born! She was 1 week late to the day of my December 16th date. As I drew closer and closer (and then past) my due date I had a feeling that if I didn’t wake up in the morning in labor then it wasn’t going to happen that day. And that is exactly what did happened. Funny how God given intuition and nature were right. Not the high tech ultrasound, but my own body was more reliable!
I woke up at around 3:30 am on the 22nd with contraction. I was instantly excited. Of course I knew that the best thing for me was to try to go back to sleep. I would need to rest and the contractions were definitely real, but they were easily managed. So I went back to sleep and woke up around 5:30am. I remembered from our birth class that the best thing to do once labor started was to rest and to eat. So I got up and ate a little something (a bowl of wheat chex to be exact). I kind of enjoyed being up alone and in labor. It was sort of my little secret that I would get to share once everyone else woke up (my parents where staying with us at this point). I was having trouble getting back to sleep, but I think it was more from excitement than from pain. The contractions were easily managed but by my casual clock watching, they seemed to be about 5 minutes apart. It surprised me that they were so close together already but I still felt fine. I drifted in and out of sleep until about 8 or so when Marcus woke up and I finally shared my little secret with someone.
Marcus helped me begin timing my contractions and they were 3 to 5 minutes apart. This is when they typically say you need to go in, but I really felt fine and I did not feel like I was in danger of having this baby now. It was a snowy, gray day though so we called our midwife to see what the best thing to do would be. She said to go ahead and come in because of the weather. They would check me, and then determine if I should stay or go back home. So we headed into our birthing center at around 9:30 am. I could not keep the smile off my face as we walked in the center. I’m sure I was beaming. They checked me and found that I was only 1 or 2 cm and 70% effaced. Colleen, one of our midwives, said that we could stay there if we wanted but we’d probably be there all day. She thought I’d be more comfortable at home. So she advised us to go home rest and eat! There was a subway on our way home so we stop and got some lunch (early lunch that is…) then went and got a car wash. I remember thinking this was a funny situation. How often do you see a woman in labor eating subway and sitting in a car wash! I had to laugh.
We headed home, and my parents had gone to stay with my brother and his family for the day to give us some privacy. I felt weird about laboring at home with them there, so they kindly agreed to give us some space. We got home and we laid on the coach, watched a movie (Little Lord Fauntleroy) and snacked. I again casually watched the clock and my contractions stayed about 3 to 5 minutes apart. After the movie I felt like I needed a little more help getting through the contractions. The birthing center had lent us a birthing ball to use while we were at home, so I kneeled on the floor with my elbows on the ball and tried to relax. Marcus began timing my contractions more consistently and helping me with counter-pressure, and whatever else I needed. After a while, I started to feel uncomfortable, almost afraid. I felt cold, almost like I had a fever, and I would shake/shiver every now and then. I really felt like it was time to go back to the birthing center. I wanted somewhere safe and cozy. So we called our midwives and our doula and head back to the birthing center at around 5 pm. I remember going to the car when I had a contraction and I felt so weak and shaky. I had to stop and hold on to the car for support. It felt scary and I started to cry a little. Marcus reassured me that everything was ok, and we’d be to the center in no time. I felt tense and uncomfortable in the car. Every bump felt like a huge jolt to me. I couldn’t wait to get there.
When we got to the center I’m sure I was no longer beaming. I remember my midwife saying “Things are a little different than this morning aren’t they?” I smiled weakly and said yes. They checked me again and found that I was at 4cm. My midwife told me that for first time moms 4 cm is usually when they feel labor begin to change. She reassured me that I had made good progress, but I felt a little disappointed. I had labored at home almost all day and I only gained 2 cm? But despite my disappointment, all my fear and discomfort had seemed to go away. Our room was all set up and I just wanted to get as comfy as I could on that big bed. I knew that lying down was not an ideal labor position, and I was starting to have some back pain, so I opted for just sitting cross-legged on the bed. It seemed to be the most comfortable.
So there I sat for who knows how long! Marcus timed contraction while my doula rubber my shoulders and back and did just whatever I needed. Jerusha, our midwife, came in and checked the baby’s heart rate every so often. It seemed that the baby was dropping rather quickly because the heart rate seemed to be further and further down my stomach every time she checked it. She told me I could get in the tub if I wanted to now. I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 11 pm! I still felt that the contractions were manageable and I sort of wanted to wait for the tub until things got more intense. But the lure of the warm water was too tempting. I got up and got in the tub, and we put some music on. As soon as I was in the water my back pain and any other tension just melted away. They brought me some cool rags for my head and face. So I sat in the warm water with cools rags on my face and neck, Marcus timing contraction and my doula rubbing my shoulders. It was extremely comfortable! I started feeling hungry so I ate a granola bar while I was in the tub. I rather felt like I was at a spa being pampered rather than in labor! My contractions where getting closer together, almost a minute apart, and harder. I even had a few that would double peak. I would feel them start, they would reach their climax, start to go back down and then climax again before finally stopping. We knew that close contractions and double peaking was a sign of transitions, so we really thought things were moving along! I should have know that the fact that I could still have a conversation was a sign that I was not in transition yet. Since I thought things were moving along nicely I wanted my midwife to check me again. So Jerusha came in to listen to baby’s heart rate and check me. She actually laughed when she went to check the baby because the heart beat was so far down that she could barely reach it while I was in the tub. She then checked me and I was 100% effaced with baby at a +1 station, but I was still at a 4! No progress. That was all I could think about! Jerusha told me that the baby dropping was actually better progress than dilating, and since the baby was so low she thought things would start moving along really fast now. I remembered all the things from our birthing class about the fact that things are still happening even if you are not dilating, etc. etc. I had our midwife telling me I was doing just fine and that things would probably move quickly. But I felt a little demoralized. As soon this feeling came on, my back pain came back and I no longer felt comfortable in the water. I wanted to get out of the tub. I needed to change something.
I got out of the tub, but felt weak and tired. I wanted to just kneel on the bath rug for a little bit to get enough strength to get back to the bed. So I sat on my hands and knees trying to wait for a good time to get back to the bed. As I sat there I began to feel sick. I leaned over the tub and threw up my granola bar. My lower back was really starting to ache. My doula began giving me counter pressure, which was the only thing that seemed to help. I kept asking her to press harder. It wasn’t until the next day when I realized how hard she must have been pressing because I had bruises from it! But at the time that was the only thing that felt good! Jerusha came and offered me the birthing ball to rest my arms on. I thought this was a little unnecessary since I was only going to be there a short time. But I couldn’t get myself to say any of the things that were in my mind. I didn’t want to talk I just wanted them to read my mind. I thought I had only been in that position about 10 minutes. After the birth I said something about this to Marcus and he looked at me kind of funny, then said “No Carrie that was almost an hour that you were there.” I was totally shocked! Time flies when you’re having… fun? Maybe time flies when you’re having a baby!
I finally made it back up to the bed and resumed my sitting position. Again it seemed to be the best thing for my back labor. My midwife kept telling me she could check me again if I wanted her to. But the last thing I wanted was for her to check me and tell me that I hadn’t dilated any more. So I decided no more checks until I felt like something changed. At this point I am sure that I was finally in transition. Marcus was still counting contractions but I was not paying any attention because the contractions weren’t really going away or pausing for that matter. They would begin, peak, begin to subside but then they would just increase and peak again without ever really stopping. I had a vague thought to tell him that he could stop counting, but again I couldn’t get myself to say anything. The heart rate checks continued and they made sure I was still drinking water. I remember being so tired I just wanted to sleep. At times it seemed like I was sleeping and that I was sort of dreaming about my contractions. They seemed to be the only thing I was aware of, this up and down wave of pressure/pain/tension. At one point I had to go to the bathroom again. But there was no way I was getting up or even going to have the ability to say what I needed. So I just peed where I was. I was sitting on a big sheet cover/fluid catcher thingy so I didn’t think it would be too big of a deal. Something that I would have thought would have been so humiliating before, I didn’t even think twice about now. At another point I did almost fall asleep and I started to fall over since I was sitting up. Luckily, my doula was right there and she caught me before I fell over. Now I knew I needed to just lay down. I was too tired to stay upright. I laid on my side knowing that was a better position than on my back.
As soon as I laid down I think I must have relaxed further because things really kicked up! It was intense and I was no longer able to relax through the contractions. I had to grip the pillow and I started to cry. I knew things were getting closer to the end, but still it was hard. I was tired, I was hurting, and I just wanted to be done. Thankfully this only lasted about 5 contractions (or so I think ☺ ) and then all of a sudden I wanted to push. Maybe want isn’t the right word. I had to push! That was the hardest moment of my labor because I was still having really hard labor contractions, with the urge to push, and my water broke right on the first urge to push. Weren’t my contractions supposed to subside and space back out once I wanted to push? Again, thankfully, the hard contractions and the urge to push at the same time only lasted about 3 to 5 contractions (I think ☺. I started sort of rolling or thrashing around. I had to move, I had to get comfortable, but I didn’t know what to do. Nothing seemed to be comfortable at this point. Jerusha came in to check me and she had a strange little smile on her face. She said “I thought you might do that, where you go right into wanting to push.” And sure enough I was at 10 cm. I remember Jerusha’s words, “I think we are ready to have a baby.” That seemed to be the cue for things to finally ease up and the contractions to start spacing out. I was suddenly aware that Marcus was sort of holding me down. I’m sure it was because of my recent “thrashing”. I asked him to let me go so I could roll back to my side. The fact that I could form a coherent sentence was proof to me that the worst was over, and the best was almost here! I was so relieved that hard labor was over I just sort of laid there breathing heavily. Like I was trying to catch my breath after running a long distance. Jerusha and the other midwives got everything ready and Jerusha asked me to come sit on the birthing stool. I wanted to, but I was so relieved that my contractions were finally spaced out and I was somewhat comfortable compared to the last hour that I just laid there. She finally came over and pulled me up so I could go sit on the stool.
The stool really was quite comfortable, it felt natural to me. (I will not attempt to explain what a birthing stool looks like because it is nearly impossible to do!). I would push at each contraction and then just sit there with my eyes closed after it stopped, enjoying my sense of no pain and new found energy. I remembered stories other woman had told me about not knowing how to push. I did not have that problem! Every contraction was very strong and I couldn’t stop myself from pushing. In fact I began pushing too quickly and Jerusha had me try to relax through the contraction then push after it so that baby wasn’t coming too fast. This was very hard to do! I remember in our birthing class they had told me to tuck your chin in and sort of bear down. Well that was what I was doing, but I guess it was too much! They finally had to tell me “Carrie, lift your chin up and just breathe.” I remember during each pushing contraction the feeling of the baby’s head and I kept saying “owe”. It did not hurt as much as my labor contractions did, but it still wasn’t pleasant so I guess owe seemed the right response. Periodically Jerusha would tell me to feel how much of the baby’s head was showing. I was amazed at the progress. Then they began to talk about her curls that were already visible and I began to get more and more excited. I was finally going to meet her! It took one final contraction to deliver her head and her body followed before that contraction was over. They set Ada in my lap and I just stared at her. I could hardly believe it was all over and here she was! My entire labor was about 23 hours, but I only had to push for about 45 minutes. Ada had a very short cord, so they went ahead and cut it so that she could move somewhere other than my lap. I sat on the stool and held her until the placenta was delivered. I remember very little about that. I remember Jerusha asking me if I was having a contraction. I said I didn’t know because I couldn’t feel anything that felt like a contraction to me. Then Jerusha was splattered with blood, which I assume meant the placenta was delivered!
Marcus and Colleen then took Ada to wash her hair and clean her up a little while Jerusha attended me. I was bleeding a lot. Though I was very unaware of this. I got back onto the bed and was just so happy to be done with everything and to know my girl was here and was healthy. While I laid on the bed relaxing, Jerusha was trying to get the bleeding stopped. They gave Ada back to me to hold so that my uterus would contract better. They finally had to give me a shot of pitocin to get the bleeding under control. The strange thing was I really did not know the severity of what was going on. All the midwives were calm and just acted like this was ordinary business. I appreciated that! I had to have a few stitches and this actually scared me! I had to keep telling myself “You just had a baby, you can handle a few stitches!” Once they were done with me, they brought Ada back over and we started learning how to nurse. They had weighed and measured her, and she was 8lbs 12oz. and 21 inches long. Big girl! By this time it was around 3:30am on the 23rd, Ada having been born at 2:29am. Jerusha thought that Ada was doing well enough at nursing that I could probably lay down and nurse her. So I laid on my side with baby snuggled in close. Marcus joined us in the bed and the midwives basically said “goodnight” and we were allowed to sleep and recoup till morning.
Ada’s birth came later than I wanted it to, and my labor was longer than I wanted it to be, but it was all worth it. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. It is amazing how each of my kid’s births will be unique. That will be their own little story of how they got here. It truly is amazing to see how birth is perfectly designed. How your body knows what to do even when your mind doesn’t! How you can’t always control labor, yet labor seems to do ok without you controlling it. Having a natural birth did not scare me, but it actually made me want to do it again! What will next time be like? I can hardly wait!
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