Birth Statistics

There has been a lot of controversy lately about the birth center where I had both of my daughters.  Their story has caused a lot of midwife bashing to occur.  I have read and heard comment describing the use of a midwife as "unwise, dangerous, and uninformed.". All I want to do with this post is to give some statistics.  I do not want to debate or argue.  I want to show what the numbers really say.  There were some stats that I wanted to find that I could not.  I could not find any stats for out of hospital births, or midwifery stats on a national level, so I just posted the stats from my birthing center, The Baby Place.  It seems easier to find stats for individual birth centers than to find national averages.  I found a number of studies and blogs about the low mortality rates of out of hospital births, but none of them gave any links to where they got their info, so I did not want to post it.  I also wanted to post the mortality rate and c-section rate for our own local hospitals, but I could not find them.  It seems they are not required to publish those numbers.  So here are the numbers I have so far.  If I find more stats I will update them later. The US and Idaho numbers are from 2010 except the maternal death rate. US infant mortality rate: 6.39 per 1000 US c-section rate: 32.8% US maternal death rate: 12.1 per 100,000 (in 2003) Idaho infant mortality rate: 5.43 per 1000 Idaho c-section rate:  24.8% Idaho maternal death rate: 13.8 per 100,000 The Baby Place infant mortality rate: 1.9 per 1000 C-section rate: 2.3% No maternal deaths (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/states/ID_2012.pdf) (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_03/sr03_033.pdf) (http://www.healthandwelfare.idaho.gov/Portals/0/Health/Statistics/2003%20Reports/2003%20Annual%20Report.pdf) (http://www.thebabyplacehome.com/connect/with-resources/)

The missing link behind discipline

Discipline is one of the most important, yet most challenging things about being a parent.  Before you have kids, discipline seems so black and white, but as a parent you quickly discover that there are gray areas because every child is different.  You have to answer questions like, what age do we begin to discipline?  What types of things do we discipline for?  What form or forms of discipline should we use? Do all offenses require the same punishment or should there be different degrees of punishment?  Do you discipline the same way for attitude as you do for actions?  The list goes on, and if you don't answer at least some of these questions early on in your parenting, you will find yourself in trouble very quickly.  Then there is also the issue of consistency.  Even if you know exactly how you want to discipline, now you must carry it out which can be harder than you think.  Consistency requires a great deal from the parent, and it is hard work.  But discipline and training is so vital for our kids that we as parents need to strive to discipline well, and to be consistent.   I am not going to go into any specifics about how to discipline because I am not going to run the risk of offending anyone.  I want to talk instead about what lies behind our reason for discipline.  My husband and I have found parenting books to be helpful in forming our philosophy of discipline, but we have also found them to be lacking in one particular area.  That area is wisdom.  Parenting books rarely talk about the wisdom behind discipline.  Sometime they may use words like safety, or blessing, but too often we find any talk about discipline to be found in terms of authority and obedience to that authority.  Now please hear me, obedience to authority is very important.  It is something we all have to learn, but most books I have read go to one of two extremes.  Either the child learns to obey authority out of a sense of duty or fear, or the child is encouraged to obey simply because they want to make the parent happy.  I find both of these two approaches to be lacking.  I am a strong believer in the importance of attachment, but if we rely on attachment to coax out good behavior, that seems like manipulation to me.  "Obey me to make me happy" plays on the emotions of both parent and child.  Then if obedience doesn't happen it can become a personal insult to the parent.  Plus I think there are times when kids simply do not want to do what you have told them to do.  It doesn't matter how much they love you or you love them, it will take more than that to get them to see that they need to obey.   The other form of discipline that comes from obedience to authority can be too harsh and legalistic in my mind.  Many Christian parenting books talk about the need to obey mom and dad because of the need to obey God.  Now I think obedience to Parents does teach the importance of obedience to God, but most times books paint this picture of God as this big, absolute authority that we must obey, or else kind of thing.  Obviously God is an absolute authority, but there is a fear tactic built into this form of discipline.  Fear of punishment, fear of not being good enough.  It paints a picture of God as a big ogre, we are the miserable failures, and God wants us to simply do what he says, no questions asked.  So therefore the kids are to respond the same way to the parents because God put the parents in charge.  I feel that this approach misses the mark because I think God wants us to obey because he knows what is best for us.  This is where wisdom comes in.  God knows what it means to be human, because he made us.  When we live inside of the parameters that God has set, we become more fully human.  We function more how we are suppose to.  We embody what it means to be human in God's eyes.  So God's "rules" have wisdom and love behind them.  I don't believe that God requires unquestioned obedience.  Obedience should flow from love  knowing He has our best interest in mind.  We as parents want our kids to trust us when it comes to why they need to obey, and I believe God wants the same thing.  Trust and love. I think the best approach to disciple will be in the middle of the two methods I described.  Everyone will land in a little different place, but I want to encourage parents to remember wisdom.  Remember why we discipline.  It should be to help our kids live more fully human.  It should be to help them understand who God has made them to be and how He wants them to function.  Don't turn discipline into manipulation to get a desired outcome.  Don't use fear to achieve a good outward appearance.  And be careful not to create self righteousness in your child because they obey without question.  I was like that as a child.  I prided myself on the fact that I obeyed so well, and that attitude followed me into my adult life and my relationship with God.  I missed the wisdom of obedience and it has taken me years to recover.  I don't want my kids to make the same mistake.  I want to remember the wisdom of God, and help my kids to learn it through proper discipline.  I think good discipline needs elements of trust, love, punishment, reconciliation, teaching, obedience, and wisdom.  It may seem like a lot, but thankfully God has empowered us with his grace, and he has given us the perfect model in Jesus.